You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: yoooo

Stranger: oooooooooooy

Stranger: *yo

You: oll

You: *lol

You: ;P

Stranger: asl? `_`

You: 16 f usaye

Stranger: 16 m usaye!!!!

Stranger: i see what you did there

You: :) omg we’re twins.

Stranger: we aree!!

Stranger: Im keith!

You: Hey Keith! I’m hungry!

You: Actually, I’m Lily. Nice to meet you :)

Stranger: >:O lily you were tricking me!!!

Stranger: (nice to meet you)

You: ^u^ I didn’t mean to omg sorry

Stranger: no no ill be fine….just…just give me a second ~_`

You: D;

Stranger: ………….:D i recovered

You: omg phewwwwwww yay

Stranger: lily what is your favorite……thing?

You: *wipes sweat from borw

You: *brow

You: hmmm,,,,, I don’t think I have a favorite thing. :( what’s yours?

Stranger: hmmmm well i would haave to say microwaves are pretty awesome!!!

Stranger: top 5

You: OH THINGS! okay here it goes

Stranger: lolol what did u think i meant? XD

You: 1. The Beatles
2. Protons, electrons, & neutrons. (but mostly electrons b/c they’re punk as fuck)
3. tumblr
4. hanging out with my friend
5. Vintage

Stranger: the suspense is killing me!

Stranger: ooooooooo vintage!!!

Stranger: are kittens vintage

Stranger: ?

You: I’m sorry. I’m sure once I have my life together I will have a better list lol. Lol no silly Kittens aren’t vintage :3

You: I guess they could be though

Stranger: wouldn’t they be dead tho?

Stranger: ….then they wouldnt be kittens

Stranger: theyd be cats

You: Yeah you’re right :/

You: they’d be dead cats, I really doubt they’d live that long but hayyy

Stranger: taxidermy!!!

Stranger: thats besides the point

Stranger: tell me a joke!

You: okay. I used to be in business…

You: but I lost interest

You: lawlllll

You: oknvc[iae pb avpaueb rv[ ev I can’t too much ahahahaha

Stranger: XD i get it !!!!

You: your turn :))

Stranger: because when you weren’t innnn business you werent working

Stranger: hehehe!!!!

Stranger: MY TURN

Stranger: knock knock

You: who’s thurrrr

Stranger: …..ooorrange!!

You: orange whoooooo?

Stranger: orrannggggee you glad i ………wait

Stranger: D:

Stranger: crapnevermind

You: why nvm? I want to know it was

You: omg

Stranger: IT WAS ORANGE BUT I REALIZED THAT ORANGES AREN’T ABLE TO KNOCK

Stranger: :3

Stranger: WAIT

Stranger: IT WAS AN ORANGE SALESMAN

Stranger: boom

You: lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Stranger: i should be in stand up

Stranger: :D

You: yes I’d attend

Stranger: i liked your joke you could be my tag team partner

You: Wut.. I just realized that teachers take attendance…. for people that attend school

You: heck yeah we’d sweep people off their fett with our awesome killer jokes

You: woah *feet

Stranger: loll and at first you would be in the crowd

Stranger: aannndd then id be like …..“HEY IS THAT LILY?”

Stranger: and you’d be like “wuzzupp”

Stranger: and id be like “yo tell some jokkes real quick”

You: lol then I’d whip out my hands in shaped like guns and point to you and be llike ayeeeeeeeeee

Stranger: the end

Stranger: YEAAA

You: aw too short :(

You: I liked it :,)

Stranger: lol i’ve exhausted my creativity for today brevity is good

Stranger: (SAT word )

Stranger: :D

You: I’ve heard it before… but what does it meeeeeeeeeaaaannn

Stranger: briefness !!

Stranger: shortness

Stranger: concise!!!!

You: Oh of courseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Stranger: yeaaahhh!!

You: The phone rang in my house and I ran like a cat through all the rooms looking for it, why am I tired? haha

Stranger: uhhmmmm…. is it because the energy exerted through feline behavior is a lot of energy

You: Lol, I would guess so :)

Stranger: I doo that to btw XD

Stranger: especially when im preoccupied

Stranger: WAIT!!

Stranger: lily!!

You: yes? sorry

You: :) it was my brother on the phone

Stranger: :D did you …say hi??

You: yes of course! :) so what are you doing?

Stranger: watchinnnnnn March maddness!!

Stranger: hbu?

Stranger: o and im talking to you but you already knew that

You: Is that basketball? I’m laying in bed on Omegle & tumblr. aw I don’t have a life :(

Stranger: yeaa! anndddd you dont have a life?? you’re a ghost!?!?

You: I have a physical body form, silly, I just don’t do much to be able to say that I take a part in society very much

Stranger: ooooooo i get it!!

Stranger: OH DO YOU HAVE ….a kik???

You: I don’t :/ sorry. I’m not into a lot of what the youngins are into now a days with their hippity hoppity and their Bop Its and their yugioh cards no no

Stranger: XD pppssssh i was just askin if you could…….. kick thingssss

Stranger: B) played that off

You: lol ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh smooth :)

Stranger: always!!!

Stranger: LOLL Keith Stone commercials

Stranger: ^^thats a thing

You: what thing? I’ve never heard of this Keith Stone? Omg I’m missing out on so much

Stranger: XD its only the 15th best alcoholic commercial of all time

You: Is it the “I don’t always drink beer… but when I do I drink Dos XX” thing?

Stranger: nope!

You: what is it :((

Stranger: i can send you the youtube link lolol

You: kk :)

Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNz0kdGLX-E

You: Haahahaha that was a long slim jim haha

Stranger: LOLL see the reference now!

You: gotcha ;)

Stranger: :O osomthins in ur eye

Stranger: !!

You: oh thanks blow in it to get it out plz

Stranger: :o%%%%%%%%%%

Stranger: there

Stranger: ^^thats legit wind effect there

You: thank you oh so much *adopts little old lady voice from the 50s & bats eyes*

Stranger: ……..always ;D

You: Now there s something in yours omg

Stranger: DX now its in both of them!!!!

You: oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o o o o o ooooooo o oo o oo o o ooooooooooooooooo o o]

Stranger: `_` if…if i squint it doesn’t hurt sooo bad!!

You: ok. if I squint, I can almost see

Stranger: DO YOU SEE IT?

You: I see it haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Stranger: GET IT OUT OF MAI EYEEESSS

You: okay sorry *takes deepest breath ever and sucks up everything in sight like a black hole* :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

You: is it out omg is it out

Stranger: phhheewww

Stranger: thank you *winks eye*

You: Oh yay ^u^ I’ll get that out too if you’d like

Stranger: lolll nah its just one of those subtle random winks that no one knows why you did it

You: lol oh okayyy :3 so where you from Keith?

Stranger: I am from MY MOTHERS WOMB!

Stranger: :P

Stranger: no im from Connecticut

You: ahhh, okay gotcha :)

Stranger: Connecticut gave birth to me

Stranger: hbu?

You: is it nice and cold up thereee?

Stranger: It’s right about at “meh ” level in temperature

You: Well, that’s nice :) tis a bit nipply here. I live in the south called NC but I’m from Mexicooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Stranger: Mexicooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo huh? so just west of Mexico?

You: Lol North of Mexicocain

Stranger: ooooo *face palm* of course

Stranger: North Carolina!!! I AM NORTHERNER THAN YOU!!!

You: Of course! Everything above us is more yankee than us lol. I don’t even know how we’re considered the south but I guess people here like being called that

Stranger: Its USAyye logic

You: ikr hehehehe. So since Tuesday, I’ve watched a lot of documentaries on the Amish… have you seen an Amish family/person?

Stranger: Yes i havee!!

You: are they the neatest things on the planet? I’ve never seen them in person :/

Stranger: noo… XD they make good pretzels though!!

Stranger: and fire places!

You: what really? xD

You: hahaha

You: I’m interested in their Rumspringa

Stranger: im confussses?

Stranger: rumspringa?

Stranger: OOOOO yep i googled it

You: When they turn 16, they’re allowed to leave the Amish community to run wild and free and

You: awwwwww

Stranger: loll amish gone wild!!

You: lolololololololol YOU TAKE OF THEM KNEE HIGHS AND THAT APRON

You: GIRLLLL YOU ROCK IT

Stranger: ooooooo howww provoccativeeeee

Stranger: XD

You: Too much to handle man that bowl cut and that never cut beard omg phew

Stranger: after theey’re married tho!

Stranger: no marriage

Stranger: no beard

Stranger: imarite?

You: completely right :)\

You: I wouldn’t like a man with a bushy beard unless he looked attractive in it

Stranger: lol i wouldn’t like a woman with a bushy beard…. period

Stranger: that sentence can have different meanings

Stranger: D:

You: ahahah yes it does it can have like 37

You: I can’t count

You: I’m bad at the mathematics

Stranger: matteamaticks

Stranger: posssibly

Stranger: ive been to amish land before!!

You: really? omg! I want to go omg. Did they leet you take pictures?

Stranger: Nottt off themm

Stranger: neveerrr

Stranger: (what they dont know wont hurt them)

You: I haven’t yet figured out why. I’ve heard that they think it takes their souls away but idk. They often get excommunicated if they let someone film them so they run a huge risk when they make documentaries about them

Stranger: they think that it traps their soullss … and they cant use technology so they are prolly afraid when they see it

Stranger: facebook would hold aalloott off souls

You: yes, lol. facebook HOLDS a lot of souls

You: *gasp

Stranger: thatsss secretly what they’re ddooiinnnggg

You: I believe it :O oh and also, technology is a distraction and it takes away from family time and working time. Which couldn’t be more accurate haha

Stranger: lolll Mark Zuckerberg??? more like Mark ZuuI'MGONNNASTEALYOURSOUL

Stranger: :3

You: rofllllll

You: Mark Zuckerofsouls ehh? eh?

Stranger: i think mine makes more sense ;P

You: I couldn’t agree more :___________________________________________)

You: You’re fun. <3

You: This is the most phone I’ve had

You: eh? ehh?

You: dawwwwwwwhhhhh ok ok

Stranger: Lolllllll you….butter believe it!!…..:D

You: IPVNC uybzv ouhvbb auhv v rg snpvbarpnhbz wow wtf this is so much fun

You: :D

You: :DD

You: :DDD

Stranger: :‘O its overwhelming!!!

You: overwheelming

You: underwhelming

You: overwhaleming

Stranger: overwelding

You: rofl ahahaha

Stranger: lol you win that one

You: I liked yours :) A+

You: I want to be a teacher btdubs :)

Stranger: nonono youu get A++ extra credit

Stranger: a teacherrr!!!

You: ^u^ oh hoho ok yay :)

You: Yess a teacher who teaches teachings

You: :)

Stranger: sooo a college professor?!!?

You: oh no, that’s too complicated :/ an elementary school :)

You: Any grade in it. :)

Stranger: :O eeeeeevveeeeennnnnn kindergarten!?!?!!

You: of courseeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! :))

Stranger: why not all of them!!!!

Stranger: alll at the same time!!

You: rofl I’d probably………………………………………………………………………………………………

You: die

You: :(

Stranger: psssshhh you haddd no life before!!!(going by what you said )

Stranger: ba na tisssss

You: oh hohoho :)

Stranger: santa!

You: yes?

Stranger: i want some money!!

You: *Adopts santa’s deep voice* My child, Keith, because I’m Santa and I have to know your name, I will give you….. DA CA$H MONAY…. because you’re such a nice young man :3

Stranger: ** my mom laughs in discomfort in the background**

You: O.O sorry mom.

Stranger: DO YOU KNOW WHAT PUTPOCKETIN IS?

You: come again? Pick pocket? as in take money from some one else’s pocket with out them noticing?

Stranger: noooo the reverse…… PUT- pocketingg

You: Aw, you put something IN their pocket? wow that’s nice :)

Stranger: where you put money and like gifts in peoples pocketss and stuff without them knowing!!!

Stranger: YEAH

Stranger: i just found out this was a thing today!

You: wow I just found out it was a thing today too then :) I wonder how people get away with it. I can barely tell a lie >.<

Stranger: sssshhh u gotta sneeaaakkk

You: okayyyy :)

You: I will start doing that. Like what should I put in their pocketses?

Stranger: idk i think its too sketcchhyyy because if you get caught you have to explain that you were putting money in theeeeeir pockket not taking it out

Stranger: it can also be like candy i guess

You: yeah you’re right :) what if they’re allergic? omg so many risks

Stranger: not to money!!!

Stranger: awww that would suck allergic to money

Stranger: using vending machines would be soo painful

You: rofl yes it would would you have to pay with debit cards & checks and stuff?

Stranger: lolll someone asks you for a dollar and you pull out a check HAHA

You: rofl hahhahaa

Stranger: alot off rolling on the floor i hope you vacuumed!!

Stranger: :P

You: I don’t get why money is so important..like what if we didn’t have our currencies? Like… what if we never knew of money? And yes, I did :)

You: what if we could pay in ice cubes or something

Stranger: lol no we would inevitably comeup with a currency

Stranger: because then you would have to trade 10 goats for someones daughter and thats not a fair trade!!!

You: yeah, I understand that. I wish we could trade things, NOT PEOPLE, but other things. But…I wouldn’t like trading animals either.

Stranger: lollllll you can just trade the thing for money and in return trade your money for the thing you want

You: oh truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Stranger: hence the idea of currency!!

You: ah, ok. There was this Amish man that tried to put every belief he had into God’s hands. He literally thought God would give him a house and pay ALL of his expenses.

Stranger: sillly aaammiissshh

You: It doesn’t work that way. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t. Eventually, he got a job though.

You: yesss silly Amish

You: Amish you already :(

Stranger: you must of made amishtake!!

Stranger: *have

Stranger: :3

You: :3

You: dawh

You: That was the Sweedish thing I’ve ever read

Stranger: Kenya read it again??

You: ;onSF cU ENF; N TOOO MUCH TOO MUCH

You: PERFECT hahaha

Stranger: i dont want to Russia

You: hahahahahah

Stranger: Jamacian me cry!!! :’D

You: I’m Nevada the one on your mind though that’s why Amish jew

Stranger: Ooooo …weeellll crap!!!!

Stranger: hold on thinking

You: I know this is getting tough

Stranger: I think I'maoutagascuh

You: Now I’m puzzled :(

Stranger: We were pun fire!!

You: oh hoho yes we were! :D

Stranger: I got a question but im not sure if alaska!!!

You: let me Czech and see if I know nymore

You: hahaha

Stranger: hehehe XD

You: Keith, YOU ARE A GUINEAs :3

Stranger: Lily, you are Braziliant

You: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Keith, you’re Ghana make me loose my mind with all these neat puns

Stranger: I know IRAQ at making puns

Stranger: Im Syriaous

You: Yes you do!!!! :D hahahha I’m sorry IRAN out

Stranger: :’D

You: African love you xD

Stranger: Egypt…..aww thanks!!

Stranger: lolloll

Stranger: anti punnn

You: hahah :,D I republic of the CONGO no further

Stranger: Urugwuay too good at this

You: bsegnvilUH WISEG V:W UEgIW UVB “

You: ” EGH ISV

You: this makes me happy you don’t even know hahaha

You: :'DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Stranger: Lolll i had to look up the map for that one XD

You: haha I’m looking at an African book with all its countries so I cheated :(( I’m sorry

Stranger: i guess we both kind of cheated :/

You: Aw, it’s ok, right?:?

You: :’

You: -___- :/

Stranger: Yeah we never madee ruleess

Stranger: Lloll

Stranger: UGanda make me upset

You: You’re right :)

I’m sorry! Nooo:((

Stranger: nahh Itss okay :)

Stranger: I dont Haiti you!!

You: yayyyyyyyyyyy :3

Stranger: Loll sooooooo many punnss

Stranger: beyond my imagination

You: I L-ITALY can’t believe we made all those up

You: who thought it was a good Idear to make a capital I and a lower case L look IDENTICAL

Stranger: Theres Norway we are this awesome

You: Ikr, there has got to be Samoa puns out there

Stranger: Yeah i wonder when we’ll be finland!!

You: hahaha. Wow did you know that Australia is in Australasia?

Stranger: whattt? loll

Stranger: You lost me XD

You: ya, I’m guessing it’s a continent or something :O I’ve never heard of it before

Stranger: loll idk if thats legit

Stranger: Oooooo thank you google

You: lol I found it on a website with the list of countires and its region

You: COUNTIRES……………………….

You: hahahahaha

You: *Countries hahah

Stranger: Count tires!!!

Stranger: :3

You: woah woah woah….. how come we pronounce Count- count…. but we don’t pronounce COUNTries- COUNTries… we pronounce it cuntrees

Stranger: countys tho!!!

Stranger: COUNT-Ts

Stranger: LOL cunt trees

You: YOU ARE SO RIGHT. lol yea cunt trees

Stranger: Thats a great opportunity to draw a picture of cunt trees and name them after Countries

You: hahhaaha yes that is, but I’m a horrible ARTEEST

Stranger: google images showed me a tree vagina….

You: O.OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wut

You: hahahah

Stranger: XD google cunt trees

You: no no no no no hahaha

Stranger: psssshh you can incognito

Stranger: jkjk

You: I googled cunt trees I can never unsee it fml

Stranger: cant be unseen lollllll

Stranger: oooo brb i gotta usee theeee bathrooms

You: kaykaykaykaykay

You: picture yourself in a boat on a river……….

You: with tangerine trees……..

Stranger: backalack

You: and marmalade skiessssssssss

You: wooooooooo

You: :)

Stranger: yesss i am picturing!

Stranger: XD

You: silly that’s Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

You: :)

Stranger: I THOUGHT IT WAS SKY WITH MARMALADE

Stranger: D:<

You: bahahaha yes it can be that too. let your imagination SOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

You: like a boar

You: with an oar

You: with the core

You: of an apple

You: now you make a hard rocking poem, Neat Keith :)

Stranger: but that boar couldnt hold the oar….. OH NO BOAR YOU’RE FLOATING OUT TO SEA WITH ONLY A CORE OF AN APPLE FOR FOOD HURRYY SWIM BACK TO SHORE

You: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD k

You: that was amazing *standing obation

You: dedication….

You: to your masturbation

Stranger: OVulation!

You: and it’s representation

You: hahah

Stranger: *hold the applause*

Stranger: :3

You: *still clapping

You: wait… hold the applause as in don’t applaud… or hold it as in don’t stop ever?

Stranger: a little of both

Stranger: BOOOM HIT YOU WITH A PARADOX

You: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not the paradoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stranger: one dedicated to masturbation does not simply clap tho!!!!

Stranger: AAAHHHHHH CONSPICARCY

Stranger: *CONSPIRACY

You: conSPICEarcy

Stranger: clevver ;) ….lolol

You: woah I just got that hahaha

Stranger: lol got what?

You: the masturbation clapping thing haha

Stranger: aaaaaaaaahhhhhh XD your poem mind not mine

You: hahaha xD

You: do you have a poem?

Stranger: like do i have a poem to share?

You: yes, or one that you make up on the spot

Stranger: loll but wut about the boar one ^^

You: another one, I enjoyed it so much :)

Stranger: my poems come with nature i cant just conjure one up!!!!

You: aw ok :(

Stranger: :O nono…..no not sad!!!

Stranger: C:

Stranger: ^^happy

You: :) ok. I’m usually sad though. That’s when I think a lot. I don’t want to think a lot

You: let’s talk about something happy like chimichangas

Stranger: ok this is going to sound weird but i dont even think i’ve ever seen a chimichanga be fore

You: I don’t even know what a chimichanga is. I just put what came to mind

You: rofl

Stranger: lollll i guess its not uncommon then ? XD

You: hahaha I guess…. butttttttttttttt…. TO THE GOOGLE MACHINES ON THE INTERWEBS

Stranger: beat ya to it!!

You: OH tis…… food

You: HAAAAAAA

Stranger: ooooo They’re like hooott pocketss

You: they look delicious omg now I’m hungry again.

Stranger: again!?!

Stranger: you satisfied your hunger when?

You: oh… okay still. I’m still HUNGARY… POW STILL GOT IT

Stranger: Maybe you should have some…….TURKEY!!

You: bahahahha aobUS E[g9 uBEW(Gb)W (G{VN[0 HWEv9u F_c

Stranger: you dont ssssaay!

Stranger: ;P

You: gorgeous that was gorgeous ahhaha

Stranger: Yes my puns tend to be of gorgeous stature c:

Stranger: yours assweell

You: oh hoho asswheel

Stranger: Ass and a wheell TOOOO GOOOGLE

You: beat ya to it

Stranger: BOOM

Stranger: it wasnt as bad as i though it would be

You: I KNOW RIGHT hahahaha

Stranger: my brain thought of the worsst possible things

You: Seriously hahaha. I shaved my legs today and they feel amazing like a baby’s bottom

Stranger: lolll do they feel Asswheelic?

Stranger: i just created a wordd

You: Yes, I feel Asswheeltastic

You: :3

Stranger: XD i wouldn’t know men dont have Asswheeltastic…. leg feels

You: hahahah just know it feels amazing :)

Stranger: loll ill take note!!

You: kay kay :))))))))))))))))))))))) do you have a favorite song, Neat Keith?

Stranger: hmmmmmm noooo i dont thinksoo :O

Stranger: doo u??

You: No, don’t have a favvvvvvvvvvv… do you have top 5?

Stranger: lol D: i cantt pickkk favorite songs i listenn to them and then i move on to the next one loll

You: oh ok. :) I will never know that feel. I listen to a song forever in a day until I eventually get tired of it

Stranger: noooo nevvverrr lol i listen to albums/ mixtape a couple of times then i listen to the ones i like over again then i put my music on full shuffle

Stranger: *specific songs i like in that album/mixtape

You: oh neat :))

Stranger: yuhhh huhh :3

You: I don’t get out of my comfort zone of music much, and some people are afraid to say what music they like. I don’t mind, I’m open to everything really.

You: I’ll always go back to my ZONNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE though

Stranger: I listeennn to rap/techno/turntablism/downtempo musicss

Stranger: not all at the same time tho

Stranger: thats ugly

You: lol you should do some incredible mash up

Stranger: lol its probably been done

You: DO IT AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN lol

Stranger: rap and turntablism go together….techno is ……..fast downtempo and techno and rap is interesting

You: hmmm, ok. I’m old school, so other than rap and techno I have no clue what the others are sorry

Stranger: loll its owl your faulllt D:<

You: oh no this’ll be hawkward now :/

You: I’m sorry :(

Stranger: buy fllyy? :D

You: come again? HAHA

You: *haha

Stranger: ziinnngg

Stranger: OMG

Stranger: have you seen the AT&T commercials?

Stranger: with the kids ??XD

You: oh yes, I have xDD

You: I like the warewolf one

Stranger: i keep on seeing new ones and i die every time

You: yesss they are hilarious

Stranger: iiii can wwwaaavveee myyy heeaaddd annndd waavvvvvee mmyyyy haannnnddd

Stranger: ……thats amazing

You: HOLD ON IM WATCHING THIS

Stranger: LOLLLLL everytimee

You: hahaha tis hilarious I do agree errherm

Stranger: Yo we’ve been talking for a while!!!!!

Stranger: This convo can be put into a …..novel

You: :) what should it be called, Keith?

Stranger: There is Novelthing butter!!

You: v8y baeIVIB AEI VB;VUB ;vb UV

Stranger: One day ill figure out what you’re saying^^^

You: It’s literally me keyboard slamming hahah

Stranger: nopppeee nooppee thats not it

You: ahaha :)

You: do you know how long we’ve been talking?

Stranger: psssh probably like 10 minutes

You: nooo wayyy Joseeeeee

Stranger: Yes WAY Lily!

You: nooo wayyy let me see this here

Stranger: look we’ll count

Stranger: 1….2

Stranger: 3………4

Stranger: 5……………..6

Stranger: 7…………………..8

Stranger: 9…………………………………10

Stranger: :D

You: :D I sent a text at 9:42 when we were making awesome puns. that’s way more than an hour xD

Stranger: lol probably like 3 hours!

Stranger: 2.5

You: We were also talking at 9:16

You: Actually probably a little earlier because My brother called and it was around 8:40

Stranger: oooooooo yeahhh

You: so yes like 3 hours omg

You: this is great you’re great :)

Stranger: thank you :D its a pleasure

You: :) this is so much fun. What if eventually we don’t have to like with our appendix anymore

You: like it just doesn’t grow back? EVOLUTION

Stranger: you like with our appendix?

You: come again?

Stranger: “What if eventually we don’t have to like with our appendix anymore”- Lily 2013

Stranger: liking with appendix?? no comprehendo!!

You: hahahahhaha

You: *living :P

Stranger: ooooo seeemmss legit!

You: I mean, I’m sure we could live with out it due to us having it removed lot of times. but hay idk the world is confusing

Stranger: there are people who don’t have their wisdom teeth grow in

Stranger: thats evolution

Stranger: I dont think we evolve anymore though because any problems we just solve with technology no need for natural selection

You: hmm, maybe I’m one of those people. Oh yeaaaaa, okay. Gotcha :)

Stranger: im not :/ THE WISDOM IS COMING

You: Aw, do they ache?

Stranger: nooot yet!

Stranger: they are just gum bumps

Stranger: XD

Stranger: no teeth is exposed yet

Stranger: (note to self don’t google gum bumps)

You: ah okay. :) that’s good! I have a tooth all the way in the back that kinda wants to show, but kids doesn’t. idk if that’s one of them. It doesn’t hurt or anything. It’s just there. OMg did you google gum bumps hahahahah

Stranger: yeaahhh its not horrible just inside of not clean mouths

You: etttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, nope can’t do it.

You: I’m not google that

You: googling

Stranger: must resisssttt

You: yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

You: let’s goodle something else

You: fml google haha

You: TO THE GOODLE MACHINE

Stranger: lol how about i tell you something to google

Stranger: and then you tell me

Stranger: it just has to be a weird combo like asswheel or gum bumps

Stranger: XD

You: hahaha okay :))

You: you go first I can’t think of any

Stranger: lol stomach tank….

You: kay hold upppppp…………..

Stranger: DX that was lame

Stranger: loll

You: rofl ahahhahah pregnant women hahaha

Stranger: makkess sense

Stranger: your turn :)

You: turtle wheel

Stranger: wheell again!!

You: ya why nut?

Stranger: ok fine XD

You: yay

You: wow, that’s actually very sweet.

Stranger: lolol i see a turtle with instead of back legs it has wheelss LMAO

You: yess hahahha so cute

You: I wish I had a pet turtle :)

You: ok your turn

Stranger: ok curvy duck

You: wtfff noooooooooooo hahahah

Stranger: XD

Stranger: LOL

You: oh wtf ahahhahahahha ahadh

You: ahcahhah a

You: ahahha hahah

You: ahhah anot what I expected hhahaha

You: nca'o ca

You: c aca

Stranger: LOL a faucet shows up

You: I get a bunch of pictures with people with big noses rofl

Stranger: XD oohhh google

You: okay umm,,, pickle dildo

Stranger: wwwhhhaaaaayyy XD

You: what is it what is it hahaha

Stranger: oddly there are no dildos

Stranger: there is a deer with a body of a pickle

You: hahaha I saw a picture of Nicholas Cage’s face on a pickle and it said PICKOLAS CAGE

You: yessssssss hahahahhaha

Stranger: LOLOLOLLL

Stranger: aaaaaaaaannnnd theres the dildo XD

Stranger: ok you’re looking at “spider cereal”

You: hahaha ok

You: wow that’s creative

Stranger: TIL there once was a spiderman cereal

You: wait what’s TIL youngin?

Stranger: Today I Learned

Stranger: TIL

You: Ohhhhh gotcha TIL what TIL means

You: lollololololllollololol

Stranger: cleevverrr!!

Stranger: your turn ?

You: okay hmmm…… beer belly water polo

Stranger: loll they just dont go together

You: yeahhh :// haha your turn

Stranger: disturbing squirrel

You: wtf hahahha did you see the squirrel feet earings? ahaha

Stranger: YES lolll

Stranger: the worn out squirell creepy doll thing got me

You: oh yess me too!! hahahha

Stranger: HOLY SHIT SPONGEBOB

Stranger: scroll down

You: How fa- OH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

You: WHATTTTTT ahaha

Stranger: lolll theres a squirell eating a finger

You: ahaha gross

You: squirrels. playing. cards……………. hahahahah

Stranger: lolll XD

You: okay hmmm…. rufus sprinkles

You: idk what that is

Stranger: Kim Possible

Stranger: !!

You: :DDDDDDDDD

Stranger: its rufuss

You: oh yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa naked mole rat

Stranger: “atomic origami” for you !!!

You: sounds wicked cool

Stranger: lol nope nothing too interesting

You: wow man so many colors

You: pizza jizz

Stranger: DX

Stranger: I believe i see semen on a slice of pizza XC

You: sorry if I lost your appetite :( ya I saw it too. no more pizza for a while lol no

Stranger: lollll “testicular juice” see i get revenge

You: not that bad rofl

Stranger: nope just a bunch of testicles hahaha

You: ya hahah I’ve seen more on this website than on that web page xDD

Stranger: lollll i wouldnt doubt it!

You: hmm okay, reproductive plants

Stranger: loll im going to get pictures of seeds

You: there’s actually a lot more xD it’s just how humans & animals reproduce basically

Stranger: ooooo the diagraammmsss

Stranger: reminds me of biology

You: yeah :) I never studied that in biology :/ we studied cells and stuff

Stranger: thats pretty much biology in a nutshell

Stranger: “almond herpes”

You: ahahha ok

Stranger: LOL IT SHOWS UP WHEN YOU TYPE IT IN

You: wtf it has already been searched…….. yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

You: ahahahah

Stranger: lmao wwhooo doess that??

You: …US….

You: hahahahhaha

Stranger: truuu]

Stranger: aaagghhh the facial herpess

You: ikr xP

Stranger: moral of the story dont kiss strangers….

Stranger: *strangers with herpes

Stranger: *people with herpes in general

You: yess, don’t. xP

Stranger: *even if they’re your friend

Stranger: lolll

You: hahah yes :)

Stranger: almond herpes was the most interesting

You: I think disturbing squirrel was :)

You: pancake turtle

Stranger: switch turtle with something else :P

You: pancake PENIS

You: ahaha

Stranger: DXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You: they’re everywhere oh goodness hahahahaha

Stranger: lollll how creative for breakfast

You: Ikr! omg did you see the Justin Bieber pancake wtfffffffffffffffffffff????? hahah

Stranger: agghhh theee effort whhyyy?

Stranger: theres a penis pancake D:

Stranger: mental scarsss

You: yess xP hahahah

Stranger: WHY DID THEY SCREW IT SHUT?

You: wutttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Stranger: yeaaa

You: I don’t……. I don’t want to knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

You: hahaha

Stranger: YOU DIDNT SEE IT??

You: NoooooooOOOOoOOoo

Stranger: awwwwwwww gawdd

Stranger: its a squished penis

Stranger: between glass plates

You: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY EEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Stranger: HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?!?!

Stranger: ITS LIKE THE ONLY THING NOT A PANCAKE

You: I DON’T KNOW OH GOD THAT’S GROSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSS=S S S S S CAN’T UNSEE CAN’T UNSEE

Stranger: LOL lily YOU DIDNT HAVE TO CHANGE TURTLE TO PENIS

Stranger: XD

You: tOO LATE FOR THAT

You: Ahahahah xDDDDDDDDDDD

Stranger: pancake turtles are much lesss disturbing

Stranger: some turtle sex but thats behind closed shells

You: yes hahah xD did you see that punch buggy that looked like a turtle?

You: ohhhhhhhhhhh i seeeeeeeee what you did there :)))

Stranger: :P loll

You: give me something else to google so i don’t have a bunch of pineses on my screen

You: rofl

Stranger: lollll throat infection

You: ewwwwwwwwwwww no non non on no nein nein nein nein

Stranger: muhwahahahaha

Stranger: aaahhh it makes your throat feel sore looking at them

Stranger: fish hotel!

You: I don’t wanna I don’t wanna. and I’m still hungru

You: hungry

You: okay fish hotel :)

You: aye that’s neat :D

Stranger: LOLLL buttt whaaaayaa

You: haha cum again? :P

Stranger: nonono i hope fish hotels dont turn anyone on

You: what hahah nooooooo

Stranger: i’d feel bad for the fish

You: why? they look happy :)

Stranger: if there owner ejaculated in their hotel!?!?

You: oh ahahah no, they wouldn’t be too happy xD

Stranger: lolll and why would anybody buy a fish hotel

You: They look cool as a cucumber :)

Stranger: wonderful simile XD

You: WHy thank youuuu *take a bow down* *breaks hip* sorry youngins

Stranger: owww osteoporosis ?

Stranger: $30 is too much for a fish hotel btw

You: what dat isssssssssssssss? I’d do something creative instead of buying one. I’d pimp it out and all, but that IS too much

Stranger: nahh fish are sad things because they usually dont last long and then you flush their corpses down the toilet

Stranger: osteoporosis = brittle bones :3

You: oh okay gotcha :) yeah I want a fish, just so I have a companion

Stranger: turtles would be sooo much better

You: yeah, I just want a companion to love AND TAKE CARE OF

You: haha

Stranger: lolll my mom used to have a parrot

Stranger: it was broken tho so we got rid of it

You: WHY WAS IS BROKEN :( I’m so hungry Keith.

You: could I run to kitchen for a snack real quick?

Stranger: gooo ahead :)

You: yayyyyyyy brb Keith :)

Stranger: as for the parrot it didnt talk it just screeched aaaaaaaalll the time

Stranger: kay!

You: omg I’m back

Stranger: Youu are!!

Stranger: whaat ur Lily!

You: ohhhh hoho :))

Stranger: 5 hours??

Stranger: lol

You: Want to go for 5? Yesssssss plz :3

Stranger: :) alright but then i have to go after 5

You: DDDDDDDDDDD; okay

You: Wow, this is the most fun I’ve had on this website :) I know I’ve said it 1,003 times, I just want to get a point across

Stranger: lollll awww you’re definantly the best person i’ve talked to on omeglee :P

You: You are too :) Um, do you want to be my friend? like fo real fo real?

Stranger: sure yo! :)

You: okay on what? I don’t have kik, but I have like…. AIM

You: hahahah jk I have yahoo

Stranger: lol yahoo yeahh i have a yahoo

You: okay email?

Stranger: yeah!! lol

You: okay okay :) and don’t loose it okayyyy? and can you give me yours just in queso?

You: *lose

Stranger: mhm Kpurdie96@yahoo.com

Stranger: loll i think i lost urss :O

You: lol I didn’t give it too you yet silly. because i’m ACTUALLY A 45 YEAR OLD MAN jkjkjk lovingearth2@yahoo.com :))

Stranger: lollll AAAAHHH youuu made me have a little heart attack XD

You: haha nah sorry if I did ://

Stranger: nah is cool i got the adrenaline rush :P

You: ahaha I don’t really like that :// my PC shut down today to install new updates *siggggggghhhhhhh

Stranger: my laptop had a virus and it was the worst feeling evar

You: awww man. I’d hate for this one to, because it’s my sister’s!!!!!! rofl!

Stranger: lol the google image search history will be interesting!

You: yesss lol

You: I have to delete my browser history now

You: clean it to the core

Stranger: the apple core

You: rofl that the boar had on shore all alone with his ore

Stranger: BUT he couldn’t hold the oar!!!

Stranger: waiiitt was is ore, or, or, oar

Stranger: ?

You: omg………… I don’t know…………………………………………………………..

You: you broke the English language

Stranger: I think i just diddd

You: congratulations Keith *slowly starts clapping… then standing ovation again*

Stranger: STOP MASTURBATION OF DEDICATION

Stranger: lolol

You: hahahahah you’re a ssilly goose nugget

Stranger: gooose nugget……..hmmmmmm

You: HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

You: ……………………………….

Stranger: google images doesnt approve of gooose nuggets

You: oh goodness why>

You: ?

Stranger: it doesnt even showa nugget

You: rofl im going to check it out

Stranger: :3 lollll

You: wtf is this?? trashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol

Stranger: im saying!!

You: that goose looks neat in black & white. like it needs an inspirational quote or something

Stranger: feathers on the ground?

Stranger: that quote?

You: I guess it could be that quote :)

Stranger: i feel inspired already :D

You: :)))))))) me tooo!!!!!!!

Stranger: yeaaaahhh we’re gonnnna…..we’re gonnnnaaa……..what are we gonna do?

You: start spreading the word…………… of the…………………………………… GOOSE NUGGETS.

Stranger: psssyeahhh

Stranger: of course

You: :3

You: I’m so sad now omg nooo Keith.

Stranger: whaaatt ?? D:

You: I’m just really sad now. no :,(

Stranger: …uumm…umm do u want a hug?? :)

You: yes plz

You: :(

Stranger: whyy are you sad??!?!

You: Long story, & you’re going to leave so now I’m extra sad geeze Louise

Stranger: nahh but we’re friendss now :D

Stranger: so like even if i leave you or me could be like “heeyyyyyyyyyy”

Stranger: and then we’ll be like “yooooooooooooo”

You: :3 ok

Stranger: amirite??

You: I like that AYE LOT :)

Stranger: :D and i get the aye!!

You: ayeee okayyyyyyyyy

You: :) you’re the best mkayyyyyyy

Stranger: how nice of you to say :)

You: so trueeeeeee :3

Stranger: Itttss been 5 hours now???

Stranger: :O

You: yessssssss :))

Stranger: thatss like 2 novelss!!!

You: yes, 2 amazing award winning novels, read by Oprah & recommended by her as well.

You: :D

Stranger: Oprah read the books and we didnt even publish it !!

You: she works with the government, that’s why Obama and her are so close, and she has read our ENTIRE conversation

Stranger: ooooooo oooppraaahh

Stranger: :P

You: ooooooooopraaaaahhhhhh & oooooooooooobamaaaa. I’m telling you, it’s the government

Stranger: they had fun with pancake penis!!

Stranger: poor government

You: rofl & helped little turtles with missing limbs

Stranger: yesss and fish hotellss and ….pizza!!!

You: omfg JIZZA

You: hahaha

Stranger: oooooor Pizz

You: O.O yessss Pizz hahahha

Stranger: how appetizing!!

Stranger: ….DX

Stranger: lollll

You: hahah I seriously hope I didn’t ruin pizza for ya homie

Stranger: well i mean you saw it too XD

You: yeah, but it takes a lot to turn me haha.

Stranger: loll and it could’ve been fake pizz

You: yeah. there isn’t anything that I’ve seen that has disturbed me, even things I know should, but they don’t, idk why :/

Stranger: lol i guess on omegle youve seen it all XD

You: hahaha just a bunch of penises ya know

You: xDDDDD

Stranger: yeahh DX thats omegle

Stranger: lolll

You: do you get on webcam?

Stranger: nooot in a while

You: ok cool beans :)

Stranger: isnt it “video monitored” though

You: If it is, they don’t do a very good job of it. I mean it warns you that it might be pre recorded & that’s cool, but I want guys not penises

Stranger: LOL Thats a paradox

You: ahahahaha mahhh badd

Stranger: hahaha i better get going though :/

Stranger: but hey 5 hours of puns and google search later

Stranger: :D

You: okay Keith. I’m so glad you’re awesome & nice. <3 later? :DDDDDDD

Stranger: later?!?! :O

You: later as in another day or later as in later this morning? lol

Stranger: lol we’ll see but yes definanlty we’ll talk again :D

You: okokokokokok I will love that :) You’re incredible, okay. Goodnight/ good morning, & Amish you a lot :D

Stranger: lolll okay it was Brazillantasswheelastic talking XD byee!!

You: :) good bye :(

Your conversational partner has disconnected. THE END. AND THAT IS HOW I MET MY BEST FRIEND. 8 PM (3/28/13)- 1:30 am (3/29/13)